I am the intergalactic bard, fabulous fabulist extraordinaire, weaver of webs, and tattler of tales, affectionately known across the polyverse as Razz Popo!
After a lengthy tour regaling my patrons in divers galaxies with fantastical fables, I have returned to one of my favourite recreational spots, the planet that I have ingeniously dubbed Bombastyk – also known by the (far less spectacular) name of Earth by the Bombastykans.
In my company, on his first ever trip to Bombastyk, is the Laquan Lord, Lazlo, who, if I may add, requires a surprising amount of space for one who is roughly the size of a leprechaun…or perhaps one of those little elves that bake bread in trees.
Despite the extravagant Lord’s space-consuming proclivities, and, if I may say, not infrequently testy disposition, I, the notorious…I mean, fabulous, Razz Popo, bard bards, am pleased to support my noble guest in his quest to experience the wonders of Bombastyk.
We are currently in orbit beyond Bombastyk’s atmosphere aboard the brilliant and exquisitely good-natured bio-craft, Partijama…
…my faithful companion since our spectacular escape from planet Duncestra, weehahahaaa! Didn’t see that coming, did you, Overlord Duncimino?
Now, in the safety of Partijama’s stealth mode we shall revel in the delights of Bombastyk, beginning with the treasures stored in the great vault of Hollywood. Oh yes!
Powered by generous helpings of popcorn and ice-cream and such local delicacies, we shall feast on all manner of stupendous tales from all over Bombastyk, and its various eras. I invite you to join us, but know this, Bombastyk friends, there will be spoilers.
As well shall I concoct glorious yarns designed to stimulate your happy centers. Others will make you gasp or cheer, or both at once.
I shall also prepare grand manuscripts to peddle…EEP, I mean…distribute to my Bombastyk patrons in a spirit of, uh, beneficence — yes, that’s it.
And now, Partijama, lights if you please; Lazlo, engage your cloud-seat-belt; Jambot, I’ll have a cup of the Bombastykan delicacy known as “hot cocoa,” if you please.
My dear Bombastykans, if you should lift your eyes to the starry skies and see a peculiar, and wondrous, spectacle, don’t be afraid, it may only be us.
And if you spot me in my Bombastykan form, as has happened on occasion, feel free to wave and say “hello.”