The rebel of shaolin
Partijama: An entertaining start to our Bombastykation, wouldn’t you say?
Popo: I sure would, in fact, I think I will say it-
Popo: …at a later time.
Lazlo: Hmph, I don’t know what’s more remarkable about that Lei Pang Fei, his kung fu skills or his ability to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Popo: That guy was hilarious. When that shaolin monk was, uh, unceremoniously dispatched…
Popo: Aye, Fei just had to be the one to find the poor Bombastykan and then be found beside him. I tell you, I was squirming and thinking, “oh, Lei Pang, no no no nooo!”
Partijama: As far as the other monks were concerned, they’d found their murderer…
Popo: Lei Pang Fei – the traitor of shaolin!!
Partijama (giggling): So dramatic, Razz.
Popo: Thank you.
Lazlo: Even the new Abbott, who’d been his supporter, wanted his head at that point.
Popo: You know what was also funny? The first Abbott…
As soon as the killings began, he suddenly felt it was time to retire. He was all “Oh, uh, by the way, I think we need a younger, sharper monk to lead us in these trying times. I’ll just blend in with the other monks and offer moral support.”
Lazlo: We know you would’ve done the same.
Popo: Ha, you are so very wrong, little buddy! I would’ve immediately left on a really long vacation to the Aterna system.
Lazlo: Some hero you are.
Popo: Some, yes; though the exact quantity is yet to be determined…hehehee.
Partijama: I really enjoyed action and the surprises in this tale.
Popo: I loved that part when Lei was in training with his master, Ten Chi, and he did that stupendous attack move..I mean, WOW. My head almost spun all the way right around.
Lazlo: Hmph, I suppose heads without brains tend to do that.
Popo: (Slapping thigh) Waahahaha-ohohooo!
Partijama (giggling): It really was a fantastic offensive move.
Lazlo: That Bombastykan must’ve employed some manner of levitational device, and thrusters, extremely well concealed beneath his training attire.
Popo: How did he across the yard like that? Like a spear?
Partijama: And punch holes in a considerably dense bit of wood.
Popo: With two fingers…
Lazlo: And still his master slapped him for not doing more damage to the target.
Popo: Talk about harsh, yeesh. After that? Lei deserved a “Pupil Lei, you have finally arrived, you are now a master, leave this place. But before you go, tell me one thing…how in the name of Dagger-finger Jaspa did you do that?!”
Partijama: What about the special escape move he used in the fight with the monks, and a few times afterward?
Lazlo: Quite impressive; he didn’t even fly in a straight line then.
Popo: A true master of kung-flew. I need to find Lei and learn that style.
Lazlo: Hmph, they’ll have to call it kung-fool when you’re done with it.
Partijama: The fight between Lei and the monks was very entertaining.
Popo: Oh yes, and Lei was doing really well too…and then the senior monks stepped in.
Lazlo: Even they had no answer for his kung-flew…
Lazlo: Aargh…I mean, his escape move. Hmph!
Popo: Master Ten Chi was one over-the-top fellow to concoct something like that.
Lazlo: Well, he was banished by the monks for wandering the land, duelling – and maiming – top fighters.
Partijama: He looked like he was really enjoying it too. That part when he smiled at the man he’d just crippled and thanked him was…ooh, it gave me the tremblies.
Popo: Ten Chi had issues.
Partijama: As did the emperor and his sister.
Popo: Oh yeah, they had some big ones. The princess was a real tyrant…(eyeing Lazlo) these royals, eh?
Lazlo: BAH! These Bombastykans should come to Laqua and see what a real royal court looks like.
Popo: If they can keep their eyes open through all the royal blabbering.
Lazlo: Why you…
Partijama: And, uh, that other student of Ten Chi who appeared later didn’t seem at all impressed with royalty. She was so offensive to the princess, on a number of occasions, I half-expected one of the princess’ guards to shoot her with an arrow.
Popo: She even kicked the princess in the face. One may justifiably call that “hard-core.” That fight between her and the princess was something; that fan weapon, was awesoooome.
Partijama: I suspected the princess as the villain earlier.
Lazlo: As did I. Malice oozed from her every time she met the monks.
Popo: “Always bet on the royals.” So said the great Yampuss.
Lazlo: He was speaking of Azzu dancing, you oaf.
Popo: Oh, right…teehehehe.
Partijama: I certainly didn’t suspect the eventual culprit.
Popo: I was completely fooled.
Lazlo: And a complete fool to boot.
Partijama: Or that Ten Chi’s role in the story would be so great.
Popo: Ten Chi…had…issues.
Partijama: And the princess, what a turn-around in the end? Placing herself in harm’s way to help save the day.
Popo: Definitely did not see that coming. That was as shocking as…as…Lei’s kung-flew.
Lazlo: You know, Popo, it just this instant occurred to me that the kung-flew escape manoeuver is actually quite similar to certain techniques practiced on Laqua.
Popo (eyes widening): OH???
Lazlo: Yes…yes indeed. That means it should be very easy to master.
Popo (leans forward): Really??!
Lazlo: Oh yes, it only requires a little imagination (smirks at Popo)…precious little; and a special word.
Popo: Oh tell me, I want to do it now!
Lazlo: (Grinning) I thought you would. Simply imagine your-self in the act of flying then launch through the air while yelling the word of power.
Popo: What’s the word??
Lazlo: First close your eyes and see Lei performing kung-flew. Do you see him?
Popo: Oh boy, do I ever, just look at that sucker go!
Lazlo: Good, now see your-self in Lei’s place. Do you see?
Popo: Ahahahaa, I’m flying, straight over the monks’ heads, I’m really doing it!
Lazlo: Now, Popo, take to the air, now, now!
Popo: The word…
Lazlo: Foolabard. Now kung-fly!
Popo (leaps from cloud-couch, arms spread, jet-like): FOOLABARD! (He lands with a splash in his pool)
Lazlo: Your kung-flew would have turned that tale into a comedy, Popo.
Partijama: Oh Razz, how could you fall for that?
Popo: (Dripping, grinning) It, uh, actually wasn’t that hard once I started flying…hehe.