Lazlo: Ellen Ripley must be the most unlucky person this side of Perhil.
Partijama: After watching that movie, I feel a renewed appreciation for my biomechanoid form.
Popo: In the words of the great Zhegogo – “better her than me.” By the way, Partijama, after that banana soufflé, I feel a renewed appreciation for your biomech self too.
Partijama: Thank you, Razz. (Lazlo, jaws bulging with soufflé, gives a thumbs-up) Aw, thank you, Lord Lazlo. (Popo rocking and humming)
Lazlo: He really is a happy fool, isn’t he?
Popo: Happy this, Lazlo (blows a raspberry and bits of desert, and breaks into mad laughter)
Lazlo: There was a time when I would’ve found that juvenile display shocking; Lumpee only knows why I didn’t take my leave of you then.
Popo: And miss out on this fine adventure? And more importantly, this adventure-some movie? Trust me, my little regal friend, you made the right decision sticking with your friendly neighbourhood bard, hehehe.
Partijama: I wouldn’t have guessed the start to that film in a million Polom cycles.
Popo: Urghhh, that was sad, and just…plain…malicious. I mean, the credits were still rolling when all that was happening. When I saw that break in the glass, I thought to myself, “Oh noble, illustrious bard, there is mischief afoot.”
Lazlo: (Stony faced) You’re a genius.
Partijama: Little courageous Newt, the valiant corporal Hicks, dependable Bishop. Ohhh, I feel deflated just thinking about it.
Popo: You’re not really going to deflate, are you, buddy? (Lazlo groans and slaps a hand to his forehead) Hey, just give us a heads up, and a prepared shuttle, if you are, okay?
Lazlo: Anyway (eyes Popo), that was indeed a grim and unexpected turn.
Popo: I could hardly manage my souffle after that.
Lazlo: Pfft, not only did you manage yours, you were trying to manage mine.
Popo: T-that was just a simple, er, misunderstanding, my long-suffering pal, hehe.
Lazlo: Crawling under my cloud, dipping your spoon into my dish…(eyes gleam) oh no, Popo, no misunderstanding, it was all very clear to me.
Popo: See? Just as I said.
Lazlo: What?? Now you listen here you rascal-
Partijama: So, uh, the saga shifted to a prison, populated by a rather unsavoury bunch, all males, on an indescribably dreary planet.
Lazlo: That prison looked more like an elaborate tomb on the inside to me.
Popo: Especially after that wonky-looking creature got started. I haven’t seen such carnage since the Klynn annual egg hunt – it’s a very competitive event for the family. Anyway, that antisocial xenomorph baddie looked a bit different this time around, didn’t it?
Lazlo: Looks slightly different each movie, by my reckoning, but always sinister.
Popo: And real bad-looking too.
Lazlo: You silly…bumbling…
Partijama: They borrow features from their host it would appear.
Lazlo: (Villain face) Such a versatile organism, I can see why the “company” was so keen to capture it.
Popo: Hmph, oh no, not enough confectionary in this galaxy, or the next one over, to tempt me into that kind of folly.
Partijama: Especially in that setting. That was a perfect play-ground for monsters.
Popo: And imps. And trolls. And-
Lazlo: And the weapons they had…(slaps forehead) beyond ridiculous.
Popo: Oh boy, what a down-grade. They went from:
Partijama: A recipe for calamity.
Popo: If I was there, I would’ve tried poking it in the eyes with one of those things.
Lazlo: What eyes? All I saw up there was one big, smooth, shiny, shell-like dome.
Popo: Oh…right. Heheee. (Jigging on seat) Still, everything pretty much added up to a ton of excitement.
Partijama: Like when they were racing through the tunnels, flares in hand, monster at their heels?
Popo: Weeheee, I was bouncing in my seat.
Partijama: You bounce well, Razz.
Popo: Aw, thank you, buddy. It’s all in the hips. You just have to put your-
Lazlo: I like the part when the strong man, Dillon, gave the speech to rally his comrades to fight back against the alien. (Fists raised) What courage, what defiance!
Popo: You said it, buddy. That’s what his name should’ve been, Defiance Courage.
Lazlo: He would’ve been instantly disowned.
Partijama (Dillon voice): “You’re all gonna die. The only question is how you check out. Do you want it on your feet? Or on your knees… begging? I ain’t much for begging! Nobody ever gave me nothing!”
Popo (leaps up, clapping and cheering): Oohhhh, Partijama, splendid!
Lazlo: What about the part when the creature came into the cafeteria and threw the gathering into mayhem?
(Wiggling with laughter) I loved the way the prisoner assigned the mopping afterward kept ducking and peering up at the ceiling where the creature had appeared.
Popo (legs waving): That was hilarious, and realistic, I would’ve done the same.
Partijma: I wouldn’t…because someone else would have had to do that job.
Popo: Oy, guys, remember that part when Dillon went mano a mano with the miscreant? Oh boy, was that a blast of awesome or what? I was…m-my head nearly exploded, (nodding) it’s true.
Lazlo (looking wistful): Hmm, now that would’ve been a blast of awesome.
Popo: You’re such a kidder, Lazlo. (Face freezes in grin) You are kidding, right, buddy? Lazlo? (Lazlo gives slow maniac grin). Hey, Lazlo, would you like to see how my heart was going a while ago?
Popo: Like this, watch. (Gallops across the room). You watching?
Lazlo: Partijama, kindly prepare a shuttle. I’m leaving.
Partijama (giggling): He’s funny.
Lazlo: He’s an idiot. Now prisoner Morse, he was funny.
Popo: I thought the same thing, oh my gosh, it’s like we’re twins!
Lazlo: Twins…you and I…relations? (Sinister face) Grrr, now you’ve done it, Popo; now you’ve gone too…i-is that ice-cream, I see?
Partijama: It is, lord Lazlo; it’s a special recipe called Cosmic tongue-twister.
Popo/Lazlo (eyes wide and glittering): Oooohhhhh…
Popo: Partijama, if you had a cheek, I’d pinch it.
Partijama: It’s the thought that counts, Razz.
Lazlo: If you had a back, I’d massage it.
Partijama: Oh, Lord Lazlo, how sweet.
Lazlo: Well, um, i-it was more, you know, fair…royal…than sweet.
Popo: Nope, it was definitely sweet.
Lazlo: Why you-
Partijama: (Dishes float down bearing hefty servings of the multi-coloured treat) There you go.
Lazlo: (Dips in, spoon lingers in mouth, makes swoon face) Fit for a lord.
Popo: (Licking spoon) Marvelous, simply marvelous.
Partijama: An on that note, thank you Ellen Ripley, for the treats.
Lazlo: (Ice-cream puffed cheeks) And the thrills…
Popo: (Ice-cream muffled voice) And all the glorious spills…
Partijama: Now, shall I be kind and rewind? (Popo and Lazlo make muffled sounds through mouths loaded with ice-cream) I’ll take that as a yes.